Twas the Morning After Halloween

Twas the morning after Halloween, and all through the house,

not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.

There I lay, all snug in my bed, watching the sun rise above my head,

Thinking of what lay ahead this morning, there came a small sound, quite without warning,

It was the rustling of papers, coming from down below,
It must have been Miss C. I did not know.

So I rolled off the bed (that was quite a struggle) and waddled to the door, not looking for trouble.
The closer I crept down the hall to the stairs, the more I could hear, a little voice that was her’s.
I crept oh-so-quietly down the stairs and peeked ’round. And there she was, my Halloween clown.
No longer in face paint, no longer in wig. But still up to trouble, oh so very big.
You see, after an evening of candy and fright,
My silly Miss C ignored our words from last night.
For there on the sofa and table all around, reclined my little mischievous clown,
surrounded by candy wrappers galore. I swear there was 30. There could have been more.
“What is this?” I cried, my hands in the air. “It’s 10 in the morning. How did you dare …
to get into your candy bag and eat all these sweets? Don’t you remember what it does to your teeth?”
Caught in the act, there was no way to escape. She had to answer. She didn’t hesitate.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I know what you said. I really listened. Really, I did.
But this is something I must do. I WANT my teeth to fall out. I really do.”
She held up the wrappers of her sugary stash, and explained she’s wanting some serious cash.
“When my teeth fall out, Mom, the tooth fairy will come. So that’s why I’m eating all this gum,
all this chocolate, the sweet tarts, the jaw breakers, too. This is something I really must do.”
So what could I say to my clown so fair as she peered at me underneath her crazy, curly hair?
She knew of our warnings of bad tooth decay, which we and her teachers told her all day.
But then she decided to take a calculated risk. All in an effort to accomplish this,
a visit by the tooth fairy, who will bring her some cash. So why not make that happen fast?
Needless to say, Miss C’s candy binge came to a halt. I, however, couldn’t find her at fault.
It was one of those moments when you just have to grin and take your losses right at the chin.
My crazy Miss C is no candy thief. She just really wants to get rid of her teeth.

And that is how my day started today – finding my daughter stuffing herself with candy, all in the hopes of making her teeth rot and fall out so the tooth fairy will come faster. A few kids in her class have begun to lose their teeth, and so for the past month or so, she’s been constantly checking her teeth in the mirror, feeling them with her fingers, trying to find one – just one – that shows a little bit of wiggle.

It cracked me up that she saw Halloween not as an opportunity to dress up, have fun and get some candy. Nope, she totally saw it as an opportunity to summon the tooth fairy.

I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in months.

Anyway, we normally go all out every Halloween, but this year, our celebration was decidedly low-key. With me only weeks away from giving birth and Martin being busy with his EMT training, we just didn’t have the time or energy to decorate the house, dress up as a family, throw a party and do all the crazy things we usually do for Halloween.

But of course, we made sure Miss C had fun!