We’ve been asked how things are going.
Well, I met Martin’s therapist this week. He remarked how well Martin and I respect each other and communicate. It was nice to hear that because things are going really well since we separated last month.
Our evenings are spent with the kids & after their bedtime, we dive into some pretty deep conversations … not much different than before, but at the end, he leaves to his new apartment. And we both get time & space to breathe, think & adjust.
A big issue we‘re tackling is the aftermath of Martin’s shitty childhood. When he was exactly Jaz’s age, his new stepfather beat him & his brother the first day they ever met, terrorizing those boys for years.
That Martin grew up to be the kind & loving person he is speaks to his amazing heart & character.
(His brother is amazing, too. I love them both so hard.)
But there are loads we need to unpack now that we can see how much that history shaped our marriage. I share all of this with Martin’s permission, because there is no shame in this, not anymore.
All the negativity and shame belongs to that piece-of-shit dirtbag who died angry and alone in 1999.
(Still working on my forgiveness issues…)
In the meantime, Martin are I are putting in the work to heal, knowing that one of two things will happen in our future. Either we find our way back to each other and it works based on our genuine love, friendship and respect … or we move on separately, raising this family together as best friends based on genuine love and respect.
While that may not make sense to some … we are so good with it knowing we are stuck together for the rest of our lives.
Thank you always for the love & support, ya’ll. It keeps us afloat.