Hey, Lover

People have to leave their cell phones in a set of lockers by our office door, and it’s not unusual to hear a cacophony of alarms and ringtones go off throughout the day.

The other morning, however, as I walked in, all I heard was the smooth, soulful crooning of Boyz II Men as “Hey Lover” played from one of the phones. A lot of the people who come to our building are, um, older and higher-ranking, and it made me snicker to think one of ’em have this song as a ring-tone.

Continue reading

Worth It

Martin just called to report that Jaz came home from school with a headache, and is taking it easy on our couch.

Me: “That doesn’t sound like him. Oh my goodness, WHAT HAPPENED?!”

Martin: “Chill out, chill out. It’s okay. They were playing soccer, and he scored a goal for his team with his head.”

Jaz (in the background): “WORTH IT!”

Tax Season

We done already done had ourses! American taxes signed and filed. He’s already thinking of the amendments we will need in the future, while I mentally prep for the burning dumpster fires waiting for me at my office.

It’s FRIDAY, ya’ll!!!!

Giving Us Life

European Netflix added “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and it is giving us life!!! This show is so funny and positive. We’re all talking like a bunch of queens in our house now.

Shante, you stay.

That’s My Face

Moore's spokesman believes Muslims shouldn't be in US Congress

Roy Moore’s campaign spokesman says Muslims shouldn’t be in US Congress because they have to swear on the Bible. He responds with silence, mouth agape, when Jake Tapper informs him that’s not the case http://cnn.it/2AgCl5u

Posted by CNN on Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Martin says I make the same slack-jawed, slow-blink expression whenever he reminds me I *have* to go to work in the mornings.

Martin: “Julie, you have to go to work this morning.”

Me: *blank stare*

Me: *blink*

Martin: “Yes, you do. You’re an adult. You didn’t know that?”

Glitter Balls

Coworker 1: “Julie, um, you have glitter all over your face.”

Me: “Oh, I do? Yeah, I was decorating a Christmas tree for the general’s holiday video production today, using a 35-year-old wilted fake tree and massive glitter balls that were probably a few years older.”

Coworker 2: “Oh, that makes sense. I just thought maybe it was a new moisturizer.”