(whispers) “Between you and me, Mom, I’m pretty sure it was not my hungry whimpers that woke you up at 3 a.m., but Dad’s chainsaw snores as he shreds through a forest of dreams. You really think I can compete with that?”
All the experts say one shouldn’t coo, play, make eye contact, or engage during overnight feedings, because doing so teaches the baby to expect such activity at all hours. Clearly, I still have to work on that… Continue reading
Funny story from our weekend adventure: the wooden seesaw on the playground behind our tent snapped in half. Within minutes, a tall, strapping young man in lederhosen showed up with a chainsaw and began hauling it away.
Sssshhhhh…it’s just after 9 a.m., and this one is *finally* asleep after a night of doing all the things restless babies do. I think this is a new family record.
Also, it is late July and only 50°F over here. Continue reading
Well, doesn’t Patches look a little guilty here?
She got in major trouble after giving Grandpa an unscheduled tour of our village by taking off when the opportunity presented itself. Continue reading
While taking out the trash today, I realized that George Clooney made our pizza dinner.
It was so strange … I was like, “Why is this pizza box giving me such feelings?” When your trash looks like a Hollywood movie star, it’s not so much a chore!
I googled “George Clooney pizza box” and discovered this has been a thing for YEARS. Amazing. You learn something new every day. We will now be ordering frequently from George Clooney Pizza. If we ever travel to Cannes or down to his house in Italy again, I will get a clean box with the hopes for a signature.
I would like to report a robbery!
I am missing two gluteus maximus muscles. Realized this last night when trying to hold up a pair of yoga pants. They were last seen with certainty covered by white bloomers at a beer festival last September. Continue reading
Here we are, buckled in for another doctor’s appointment.
I snapped this photo as he responded to email during my non-stress test. Continue reading
My coworker lost a bet, and is now wearing a giant red-and-white polka dot Minnie Mouse bow here at the office. Because we are located in the attic of a building with no elevators, we RARELY get visitors. We can go FOR WEEKS without anyone coming up to see us.
But guess who just got an official visitor?? Continue reading
My sister sent me these pants, insisting they were made from real gossamer fairy wings. I am tempted to wear them in public for the sole purpose of having an airline or sanctimonious mom blogger chastise me for my indecency, but that would require too much energy. Continue reading